1 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:43,770 Oh! 2 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,076 Ow! 3 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:52,244 Help! Help! 4 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:53,546 Am I dead? 5 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,214 You're not dead. 6 00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:58,655 You've been taken against your will. 7 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,625 Kobe? Who is that? 8 00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:08,266 Dr. Phil? What the hell's going on? 9 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:12,031 I don't know. I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues... 10 00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:13,834 and suddenly, I woke up here. 11 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,001 Man, those kids are gonna be pissed. 12 00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:19,936 Hello, gentlemen. 13 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,573 You don't know me, but I know you. 14 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,880 You both play games with other people for a living... 15 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,853 but, today, you play a game for your lives. 16 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,790 Right now, you are both breathing in a deadly nerve gas. 17 00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,828 You have 120 seconds to reach the antidote... 18 00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,192 or you die. 19 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,288 Oh, my God! We better get out of here! 20 00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:41,458 Let the game begin. 21 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,467 There! 22 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,212 Hit the metal arm with something. 23 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,872 There. 24 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:08,118 Damn it! 25 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,723 Sorry. 26 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,130 Shaquille, I'm not angry at you... 27 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,033 but we are one minute away from death. 28 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,503 Just shut out the "No" voice. 29 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:22,006 Own your success. 30 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,839 Oh! 31 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:31,580 Just make the damn basket! 32 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,981 What the hell was that for? 33 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,750 You hurt my feelings. 34 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,884 Your feelings? To hell with your feelings! 35 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,087 Everybody with their feelings! 36 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,189 "I'm obese." "My kid's a brat." "Help me. Help me." 37 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,528 Just shut up! 38 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,591 Why can't I fix anyone? 39 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:54,129 I'm so dumb and worthless! Mama was right! Mama was right! 40 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:57,904 Hey, hey! Pull yourself together. You're a brilliant doctor. 41 00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,002 Not exactly. 42 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:04,209 - What? - I-I just tell people to "get real." 43 00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,718 I'm not even a psychologist. 44 00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,515 I'm... an electrician. 45 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:13,022 I failed you, Shaq. I failed you. 46 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:22,892 - Booyah! - Yes! 47 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,864 30 seconds left! 48 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,145 This will never work. 49 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,273 Of course- he wants us to cut through our feet. 50 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,384 You go first. 51 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,750 Bullshit. 52 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,755 Yeah. 53 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,814 You're probably not man enough. 54 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,587 I guess your mama was right. 55 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:51,387 Never! 56 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,797 Who's the coward now, Mama? 57 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,801 Candy from a baby. 58 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,998 - Oh, my God! - I did it. We're saved. 59 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,637 - What's wrong? - Wrong foot. 60 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,444 Motherfu- 61 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,761 No one believed 62 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,563 in the early years of the 21st century 63 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,661 that our world was being watched... 64 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:35,640 the way a man with a microscope might scrutinize the creatures 65 00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,471 in a drop of water. 66 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,123 Yet across the gulf of space 67 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,761 a terrible evil prepared to unleash itself 68 00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:08,739 upon an unsuspecting human race. 69 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,089 You're up early. Come back to bed. 70 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:27,757 Come on. 71 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,090 Please. 72 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,576 Hello? Hello? 73 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,389 Tom! Oh! 74 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:04,127 I know you missed me. Oh, I missed you too. God, you look great. 75 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,688 I wanted to come by to thank you for setting up that job interview for me. 76 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,293 This isn't a good time. 77 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,930 I just need something to keep me busy now that Cody's out of the house. 78 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,973 He just turned 11. 79 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,770 I enrolled him in military school last year. 80 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,107 It's supposed to be a great program. 81 00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:22,238 Boy, kids, you know, they just grow up so fast. 82 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,783 So I heard that you were dating again. 83 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,081 Knowing you, I bet she's brainy. 84 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,643 "Quixotic." 85 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,348 90 points! 86 00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:47,064 Oh, you know, your work with the elderly really inspired me, Tom. 87 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,769 I mean, they have so much to teach us... 88 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,970 and we have so much to teach them. 89 00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:55,980 You know, ultimately, they... really are just like us... 90 00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:58,608 only... older. 91 00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:02,176 Anyway, I'm hoping that a new career will help 92 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,782 keep my mind off of... bad memories. 93 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:10,022 I'm sure you have memories, too. He's the kind of person you never forget. 94 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,121 Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night 95 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,928 wondering where he is, and then I remember. 96 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:19,461 I know you miss him, too, but it's really been hardest on me. 97 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,507 I'm rattling on, but if you don't vent your emotions... 98 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:25,237 they just well up inside of you and burst out. 99 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:28,041 The harder you try, the harder it all gets... 100 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,412 till you just can't shake it off anymore. 101 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:31,472 Oh! 102 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:34,543 Like you're carrying around this enormous burden. 103 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,645 Sometimes your problems get so big. 104 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:42,027 - And then what do you say to yourself? - Jesus! 105 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:45,495 Yes, you can turn to religion or family and friends... 106 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:48,159 but in the end, you're still in agony. 107 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,725 Maybe that's why I want to become a nurse. 108 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,705 I'm just- I'm so in tune with everyone's emotions. 109 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,504 I guess I've always had a knack for being- 110 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,175 Oh, my- 111 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,905 Ryan, go home. You've been working 16 straight hours. 112 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,240 Come on, I need the overtime. 113 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,211 Don't worry. Okay? 114 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,748 I'm wide- 115 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:43,288 Ryan! What are you doing? 116 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:47,157 That was gold bullion- 117 00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:51,286 No, not the monkeys! 118 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,070 They're loose! 119 00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,674 Damn it, Tom! What the hell happened back there? 120 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,838 Aw, come on, Ed. That could've happened to anyone. 121 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,508 Oh, yeah? You know what your problem is? 122 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,643 As soon as the going gets tough, you give up. 123 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,085 You're right. I quit. 124 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,816 Ah, you don't get it, do you? 125 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,859 You could be the best, if only you'd see things through. 126 00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,418 - I don't know. - Give me a break. 127 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,624 What can I tell you, Ed? I guess I'm no good. 128 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,428 Maybe I just don't have what it takes. 129 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:32,403 What are you talking about? You secured that tricky H-500 unit, didn't you? 130 00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,268 Aw, come on. That was easy. 131 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,982 Tom Ryan. I haven't seen you in a while. 132 00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:49,249 Well, I spend every waking minute of my life operating a crane. 133 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,313 God, I hate my job. 134 00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:58,087 Yo, Tom! Where you been? 135 00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,654 Mahalik. 136 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,563 Yo, C.J., this is my boy Tom Ryan. 137 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,795 We used to work together down at the docks. 138 00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:05,029 Ya-hi! Ya-hi! Ya-hi! 139 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,766 - Hey, Tom. How's the family, man? - You remember Marilyn? 140 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,365 - Your lovely wife- how could I forget? - She dumped me. 141 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,378 Yeah, I know. I slept with her a few times. 142 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,879 - What? - Me too. 143 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,973 You guys talking about Marilyn? Great lay. 144 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,314 My pops introduced me to her. 145 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,411 Ever since the divorce, it's like my life has no purpose. 146 00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,285 Half the time I walk around feeling like a zombie. 147 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,723 Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there- that's real. 148 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,226 Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street? 149 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,284 Yeah. 150 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,127 She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. 151 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,030 The next morning, she turned up missing. 152 00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,228 - Uh- - What? Okay, back up. 153 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,237 How in the hell do you "turn up missing"? 154 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,001 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there! 155 00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:43,336 Guys, I'm trying to ask- 156 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:46,503 So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time. 157 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,104 No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. 158 00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:51,206 - The bitch ain't David Copperfield! - Uh, guys- 159 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:52,682 Mmm. No, no. 160 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,186 But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. 161 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,245 So when you turn up, you're never missing. 162 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,689 And when you're missing, you never turn up. 163 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,387 Unless... you a zombie. 164 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,894 Damn! 165 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:06,898 Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that. 166 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,867 - I'm gonna put that on MySpace. - You do that! 167 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:11,596 Hey, Tom. 168 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,697 You know what you need to do, man? You need to get away from all this. 169 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,675 - You need to take a break. - Oh, I don't know. 170 00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:21,235 No, no. He's right, man. You should come fishing with us one weekend. 171 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:24,282 Me and Mahalik, we found this great spot last summer. 172 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,682 Yeah. A great spot. 173 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,291 Hey. You cold? 174 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,260 - L-Little bit. - Hmm. 175 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,438 Hey. Look, man, um- 176 00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:52,374 I'm not on the down-low or nothing, all right? 177 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:55,881 Oh, that's cool, man. Me, neither. 178 00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,449 - Hey, what you doing? - Relax, man. 179 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,954 I'm just trying to grab some nuts. 180 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,754 C.J., what are you doin'? 181 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,461 - I just wanna eat some peanuts. - Huh? 182 00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,868 See? Peanuts. 183 00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,391 Ooh, baby. 184 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,238 Yeah... we caught a lot of fish. 185 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,804 Yeah. 186 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,315 Black cod. 187 00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,479 Damn. 188 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,456 Tom, you don't- I don't want you thinking that- 189 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,355 Hopefully, this doesn't affect your opin- 190 00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,724 Why would you do that, and that's my first time meeting him? 191 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,272 Late again, Tom. 192 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:07,540 - Hey, Marilyn. - I thought you were moving. 193 00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:11,515 It's all I can afford right now. You took everything in the divorce except my name. 194 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,848 No, actually, the judge granted me that yesterday. 195 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,217 You're now officially known as "Horace P. MacTitties." 196 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:20,357 I'm sure your new husband is pleased. 197 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,088 He's a good man. A provider, unlike you. 198 00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:24,993 You never cared about our children. 199 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,555 Hey, that's not true. I'm a great dad. 200 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,101 Kids! 201 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:31,193 Dad? 202 00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:39,208 - Hi, Dad. - Hey, Rachel. 203 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,042 How's it going there, uh... Princess? 204 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,913 It's locked. 205 00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,677 Hey! Let me help you with that, muffin. 206 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,245 - I should do that. - It's no problem. 207 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,314 - I honestly don't mind. - Neither do I. 208 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,257 Fine. You take it. 209 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,727 I'll see you on Tuesday. 210 00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,127 Hey, Marilyn. 211 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:02,429 That's a good look for you, being pregnant. 212 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,100 I'm not pregnant! 213 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:09,163 I didn't meant to- I'm sorry. 214 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,108 If you want to make things right, maybe you should start with our kids. 215 00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:15,112 You're right. Those kids are all I have in this world. 216 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:17,842 Well, the kids... and my car. 217 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,579 Ow! 218 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:27,249 Mr. Koji, looks like we need someone new for the Norris account. 219 00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:28,816 Again? 220 00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:31,954 Every day we don't have someone looking after this woman, I lose big money. 221 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:35,489 - What happened to last girl? - Yoko. Take a look. 222 00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:38,001 Holy shit! 223 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,664 Someone put a towel under her or something. Christ! 224 00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:44,641 It's the Norris house, Mr. Koji. They say it's cursed. 225 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,701 There no such thing as a curse. 226 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,440 Don't be ridiculous. 227 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,880 Those just old wives' tales. 228 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,613 I need someone there today or I'm in big trouble. 229 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,614 Hello. I'm Cindy Campbell. 230 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,956 I'm looking for a job in home health care. 231 00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:05,886 I was recommended by a family friend, but unfortunately, he committed- 232 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,729 Oh, my God! 233 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,860 Don't mind her. She slip and fall. 234 00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:14,235 You my new best employee. Ready start today? 235 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,240 Oh, it's so fast. I don't know. 236 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,572 Oh, trust me. Uh, you're gonna love this job. 237 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,078 Come on, I show you. We can be there 10 minutes. 238 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,259 Come! Come! 239 00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,600 Mr. Koji? 240 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,707 Hello? 241 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,054 Oh, my God! Oh! 242 00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,456 Okay, oh. 243 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,892 - Oh, let's get you up and- - Oh! 244 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:12,556 Okay, come on. Here we go. 245 00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:15,259 - Oh, I'm sorry. - There you are. 246 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:17,131 I see you've met Mrs. Norris- she catatonic. 247 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,670 Yes, I was just trying to get her back up on the bed. 248 00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:21,797 I was afraid that she would be hurt. 249 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,069 You know, when I came in, I just saw her lying here on the floor. 250 00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,873 Of course, of course. I help. You grab her legs, I grab her arms. 251 00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,243 Mrs. Norris, I'm here to take care of you. 252 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:33,143 Yes, I'm very happy to meet you, too. 253 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:38,221 See? This job perfect for you. Let me show you rest of house. 254 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,383 Right this way. 255 00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:42,427 So, what do you think? 256 00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:48,399 I don't know. There's something strange about this house. 257 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:51,231 - A presence. - A presence? Don't be silly. 258 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,066 - Nothing wrong with this house. - It's funny. 259 00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,574 I always dreamt I would live in a house like this with my husband... 260 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,770 but I guess that's all just in the... 261 00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,104 past. 262 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,274 Who wants to see upstairs? 263 00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:08,615 It's a nice neighborhood close to schools and shopping. 264 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:12,123 There are hardwood floors throughout. Passed almost every inspection. 265 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:15,752 Big backyard goes back 100 feet. 266 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,301 And in here is the bathroom. 267 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:24,995 Very big, very... 268 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,833 nice. 269 00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:30,465 It is nice. 270 00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,772 It seems like it'd be a great place to work... 271 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,643 but I just can't shake this feeling of... evil. 272 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,682 Evil? That crazy talk. 273 00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,981 Do you know anything about the people who used to live here? 274 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:48,686 People? No, nothing about people. I don't remember anything. 275 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,196 Mr. Koji, did something strange happen in this house? 276 00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,856 Strange? Don't be silly. 277 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,832 This house perfectly normal. 278 00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:59,667 I'm sure you're right, and yet... it's as if someone's watching us. 279 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,699 Mr. Koji? 280 00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:08,143 That was me... just excited about hiring you. 281 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:11,148 Very, very enthusiastic! 282 00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:16,916 We offer medical and dental and two weeks' paid vacation! 283 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,516 I'm hoping... you can start today! 284 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:22,651 Maybe get in a whole week! 285 00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,423 You put in for this job... 286 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,691 we got wonderful opportunities for you. 287 00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:30,223 Mr. Koji, is there something you're not telling me about this? 288 00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:38,870 I was... dirty. 289 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:44,013 So... the job? 290 00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:45,709 I'll take it. 291 00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:53,789 Get your glove! I'm in the backyard! 292 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,794 Robbie, come on. Let's go! 293 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,695 That's not how you're going to get through to him. 294 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,960 Look, Rach, this is guy stuff. 295 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,231 You got to trust me. 296 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:08,239 All right, Robbie, you ready for the Tom Ryan Express? 297 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:22,086 Yeah, maybe, one day, I can grow up to be just like you. 298 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,214 All right, I know I let you kids down... 299 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,986 but you have no idea how hard it is to be a father. 300 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,655 Well, when you start, let me know. 301 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,768 You okay? 302 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,433 My eyes! My eyes! 303 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,244 Oh, much... better. 304 00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:55,445 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, that's okay. 305 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,647 I've taken balls to the face before. 306 00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,521 Hi. I'm Cindy Campbell, your new neighbor. 307 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,560 Tom, Tom Ryan. 308 00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:05,096 You, uh, live here all by yourself? 309 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,154 Well, I'm-I'm taking care of Mrs. Norris... 310 00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:10,963 but... yes, for the first time in my life, I'm on my own. 311 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,469 I know that feeling. 312 00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:16,837 - It wasn't always that way. - I know. 313 00:21:16,908 --> 00:21:19,035 You thought you'd found your soul mate. 314 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,045 Yes. 315 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,104 And then one day you come home... 316 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:26,480 and find your so-called soul mate in bed with a complete stranger. 317 00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:29,816 Well, not a complete stranger- Sammy Sosa. 318 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:33,150 Sound familiar? 319 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,352 No, not at all. 320 00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:39,596 But I do know what it's like to be in that much pain... 321 00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:42,498 and the worst part is you have to suffer through it- 322 00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,967 - Alone? - It looks like we have a lot in- 323 00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:47,505 Common. 324 00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:50,268 - We're already finishing each other's- - Dinner. 325 00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,771 Sentences. 326 00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:58,973 Well... maybe all we really need is a friend. 327 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,611 I'd like that. 328 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:03,951 Well, I better get back to Mrs. Norris. 329 00:22:04,022 --> 00:22:06,490 It's time to put her catheter in, and then after that... 330 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:08,549 I've got to scrub in between her fat folds... 331 00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,754 and I've got to lance her boils. 332 00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,592 I've got to open her up and then- 333 00:22:43,328 --> 00:22:45,592 ...empty the colostomy bag and... 334 00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,859 Mop up the drool. 335 00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:49,798 That's wonderful. 336 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,530 - I'll see you around? - Definitely. 337 00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:54,697 Okay. 338 00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:58,765 Okay, Mrs. Norris, time to dig out that doody bubble. 339 00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:06,936 Whoa... Oh! Ow! 340 00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:24,886 Mrs. Norris? 341 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,523 Have you noticed anything strange about this house? 342 00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:30,534 - Yes! Yes! - No? 343 00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:31,569 Yes! 344 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:34,434 Oh, you're probably right. Guess I'm just being silly. 345 00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:38,472 Just relax now. 346 00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:41,273 Here we go. Okay. 347 00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:44,577 Oh, you poor thing. You don't have to be scared. 348 00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:47,743 I'm here to take care of you. 349 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:51,186 You know, I think you and I are going to be wonderful friends. 350 00:24:51,256 --> 00:24:55,056 I do. That's right. Just relax. 351 00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:57,526 Let's get in those ears. 352 00:24:57,596 --> 00:25:00,463 Okay. All right. 353 00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:04,161 That's right. Oh, it feels good. 354 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,806 Okay. 355 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,365 You love this, don't you? 356 00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:14,742 It's nice and warm. Feels good, doesn't it? 357 00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:17,975 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! 358 00:25:18,049 --> 00:25:20,415 I'm so sorry! 359 00:26:39,497 --> 00:26:42,398 Robbie! 360 00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:44,401 Come on! 361 00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:46,733 Let's toss the old pigskin! 362 00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:55,537 Ooh. 363 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:58,515 I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Are you all right? 364 00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:01,177 It's okay. My throat cushioned the blow. 365 00:27:01,252 --> 00:27:04,847 Thank God. I lost my temper. My son's- 366 00:27:04,923 --> 00:27:07,187 What's wrong? You look scared. 367 00:27:07,258 --> 00:27:09,123 Oh, nothing. It's just- 368 00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:11,628 There's something going on in this house. 369 00:27:11,696 --> 00:27:13,960 Last night, I saw a face. 370 00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:16,694 - Did it have a nose? - Yes. 371 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:18,531 That does sound like a face. 372 00:27:18,603 --> 00:27:22,061 And then there was this weird hand in the shower... 373 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,404 and this horrible thing on the stairs. 374 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,808 I can't go through this all again. 375 00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:29,870 Oh, I get it. There's some other guy. 376 00:27:29,948 --> 00:27:33,111 You still love him, don't you? I wish you both the best. 377 00:27:33,184 --> 00:27:36,210 Wait! You don't understand. 378 00:27:36,287 --> 00:27:40,155 It's painful to talk about, but you deserve to know. 379 00:27:42,027 --> 00:27:44,427 I was married once. 380 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:48,728 - Get out the way, bitch! - Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit! 381 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,665 Shut your ass up, snow ho! 382 00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:56,801 Well... actually, married twice. 383 00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:00,635 My husband and I were living our dream. 384 00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:04,375 Ladies and gentlemen, your challenger, Cindy Campbell. 385 00:28:06,384 --> 00:28:09,649 Stay loose, Cindy. Remember your training. Keep your focus. 386 00:28:11,823 --> 00:28:14,792 Always think, where's the next punch coming- 387 00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:17,487 After 20 fights, I was undefeated. 388 00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:19,689 Only one fighter stood between me and the belt. 389 00:28:19,764 --> 00:28:21,755 You got this chick. She's nothing. 390 00:28:21,833 --> 00:28:23,562 Tiffany Stone! 391 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:30,673 Cindy, listen to me. 392 00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:33,438 I know you're scared, but I believe in you. You can win this. 393 00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:36,810 And if I do win, George, then will you tell me what my nickname means? 394 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:38,815 Yes. I promise. 395 00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:41,613 Okay. Now just stick with the jab and lead with your right. 396 00:28:41,686 --> 00:28:43,711 Watch your footwork. 397 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:46,313 Let's go! 398 00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:58,496 Whoa, whoa! You do that one more time, I'm taking a point off, you hear me? 399 00:29:01,072 --> 00:29:03,973 I got it, I got it! Dude, check it out! 400 00:29:11,282 --> 00:29:13,978 I can't take it anymore! 401 00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:26,355 And that's when I lost my cool 402 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,729 and made the biggest mistake of my life. 403 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,734 Cindy, no! 404 00:29:31,970 --> 00:29:33,437 Ooh, a nickel! 405 00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:43,003 No! 406 00:30:23,188 --> 00:30:25,588 Get out of the way! 407 00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:27,955 George! 408 00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:31,621 No! 409 00:30:31,696 --> 00:30:35,029 If I hadn't have thrown that punch, none of it would've happened. 410 00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:37,897 - I blame myself for it all. - As well you should. 411 00:30:37,969 --> 00:30:41,905 But, Cindy, the past is the past. 412 00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:44,635 Maybe you ought to think about your future. 413 00:30:44,709 --> 00:30:46,700 If I'm ever going to love again... 414 00:30:46,778 --> 00:30:49,212 it has to be with somebody who'll be there for me. 415 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,613 Well, I don't have a great track record in that department. Just ask my son. 416 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,380 I have. What's an "cock monger"? 417 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,948 Uh... that's not really important. 418 00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:01,548 What matters is I've let a lot of people down. 419 00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:04,026 Oh. 420 00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:07,258 - I should go. - Wait! 421 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:11,859 Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy... 422 00:31:13,638 --> 00:31:17,199 but something about you makes me want to try. 423 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:37,922 - What's happening? - I don't know! 424 00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:43,323 Why is the sky so dark? 425 00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:45,494 Why is the wind moving towards the storm? 426 00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:49,773 Why don't any of us have driers? 427 00:31:49,841 --> 00:31:53,299 I've never seen clouds like that before! 428 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,054 - You okay? - Yeah. 429 00:32:04,122 --> 00:32:06,056 - Can you believe that thunder? - No. 430 00:32:06,124 --> 00:32:09,093 That storm is so fierce. I've never seen anything like it. 431 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,890 - I haven't either. - Imagine being out there. 432 00:32:11,963 --> 00:32:15,330 That last one sounded really close. 433 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,528 Don't worry- lightning never strikes in the same place twice. 434 00:32:20,505 --> 00:32:23,303 - Where's Rachel? - I thought she was with you. 435 00:32:27,512 --> 00:32:29,412 Oh, there you are. 436 00:32:37,922 --> 00:32:40,186 Okay. That's it. We're fine. 437 00:32:40,258 --> 00:32:42,783 That last bolt of lightning smelled like a- 438 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:45,021 Giant turd. 439 00:32:45,096 --> 00:32:49,089 Yes, the... lightning. 440 00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:51,658 I'll go look for Robbie. 441 00:32:55,506 --> 00:32:57,599 Turn it again, see if it'll start. 442 00:32:57,675 --> 00:33:00,803 I don't know what's going on. The car's not working, it's just not working. 443 00:33:00,878 --> 00:33:03,870 Start! 444 00:33:03,948 --> 00:33:06,280 Go! 445 00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:11,355 My bowels have stopped moving! Why? 446 00:33:11,422 --> 00:33:14,516 - How's it going, Marvin? - I just had this car working; now it's dead. 447 00:33:14,592 --> 00:33:17,186 - Try changing the solenoid. - Good idea. 448 00:33:17,261 --> 00:33:19,525 Death to America! 449 00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:23,698 Aw, shit! 450 00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:45,678 Run! 451 00:34:35,306 --> 00:34:38,332 Beautiful outfit! 452 00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:40,400 Thanks. 453 00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:44,447 - Where's your ride, G? - Move it, dawg! 454 00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:03,329 Hello? 455 00:35:04,535 --> 00:35:06,469 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} "Haro"? 456 00:35:07,738 --> 00:35:09,729 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Hibachi. Benihana. Teriyaki. 457 00:35:09,807 --> 00:35:13,004 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Nagasaki.Okinawa. Hokkaido. Yokohama. 458 00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:17,013 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Karate. Judo. Sumo. Samurai. 459 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:21,017 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Nissan. Honda. Mitsubishi. Subaru. 460 00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:24,919 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Hara-kiri. Tsunami. Kamikaze. Banzai. 461 00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:29,119 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Yamaha. Nikon. Casio. Aiwa. 462 00:35:30,495 --> 00:35:34,363 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Minolta. Hitachi. Seiko. Toshiba. 463 00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,923 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Buddha! Shitake kimono! 464 00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:41,870 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi! 465 00:35:41,939 --> 00:35:43,668 {\pos(190,30)\fnTrebuchet MS\fs16} Fujitsu! 466 00:35:50,448 --> 00:35:52,814 I can't read that. 467 00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:55,444 That's better. 468 00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:02,291 Let's go, honey! Let's go! Let's go! 469 00:36:03,694 --> 00:36:05,286 Robbie, Dad's home! 470 00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:11,565 What is it? What's going on? 471 00:36:11,636 --> 00:36:13,866 Death. 472 00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:28,576 - Dad, talk to me. What's happening? - There's no time to explain. 473 00:36:28,653 --> 00:36:30,382 Alien attack! 474 00:36:30,454 --> 00:36:33,321 Well, actually, that about sums it up. 475 00:36:33,391 --> 00:36:35,825 Fill this up with food. We're leaving this house in 60 seconds. 476 00:36:37,662 --> 00:36:41,564 My ass! 477 00:36:44,135 --> 00:36:46,000 Penis. 478 00:36:46,837 --> 00:36:48,031 We gotta go. 479 00:36:53,277 --> 00:36:55,438 - Cindy! - Tom! 480 00:36:55,513 --> 00:36:57,413 - Run for it! - Where are you going? 481 00:36:57,481 --> 00:37:01,383 Someone's out there, somebody who knows a way to stop all of this. 482 00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:03,545 - Oh, you wouldn't understand. - I understand. 483 00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:07,113 - Come with me. - Oh, I'd like to, but my kids. 484 00:37:07,191 --> 00:37:10,092 I... guess this is good-bye. 485 00:37:10,161 --> 00:37:13,653 When this is all over, promise me that you'll find me, that you'll never forget me... 486 00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:16,632 that you won't give up until I'm back in your arms. 487 00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:19,033 - Alive? - Yes. 488 00:37:19,103 --> 00:37:20,866 I promise. 489 00:37:24,442 --> 00:37:26,069 Good-bye, Cindy. 490 00:37:31,115 --> 00:37:32,810 Hey, wait! 491 00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:36,614 A solenoid... for luck. 492 00:37:47,298 --> 00:37:49,789 Marvin! You put a solenoid in? 493 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:52,199 Yeah, I got one from that crackhead over there. 494 00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,931 - Get in. - Why should we? 495 00:37:54,005 --> 00:37:57,839 Because you're my responsibility now, and like it or not, I'm all you've got. 496 00:37:58,409 --> 00:38:00,877 Ow! 497 00:38:01,879 --> 00:38:04,143 - Hey. Hey! - Thank God. 498 00:38:04,215 --> 00:38:06,342 Hey! What are you doing? 499 00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:09,352 - Get in the car, Marvin. - Come on, Tom, stop joking around. 500 00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:11,945 Get in the car, Marvin, or you're gonna die. 501 00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:14,423 Okay, fine. 502 00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:20,195 - No, wait for me to- - Still locked. 503 00:38:20,264 --> 00:38:22,858 - Why are you reaching at the same time? - What do you mean? 504 00:38:22,933 --> 00:38:24,730 - All right, on three. - You counting now? 505 00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:26,827 One, two, three, open the door! 506 00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:29,236 - Okay, on three. - One, two- 507 00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:31,002 Three. 508 00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,373 - Don't do that. You're trying to annoy me. - It's still locked. 509 00:38:33,444 --> 00:38:35,435 I'm going on three. One, two- 510 00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:37,105 Don't count when I count. I have a problem with that. 511 00:38:37,181 --> 00:38:38,978 - What's the matter with you? - Turn your mouth sideways. 512 00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:41,245 - If you look at me I lose count. - What are you crazy? 513 00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:43,651 - One, two, three! - Two, three! 514 00:38:43,721 --> 00:38:46,053 - Don't do it the same time. - You said "three." 515 00:38:46,123 --> 00:38:47,647 - You go on "four." Can you count? - Four. 516 00:38:47,725 --> 00:38:50,159 - So on your "three" or my "four"? - There's only one "three." 517 00:38:50,227 --> 00:38:52,525 - I'm tryin' to get in the car. - Then you do it on "four." 518 00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:55,292 You said, "three." So are you doin' it on "three" or am I doin' it on "two"? 519 00:38:55,366 --> 00:38:57,197 - For Christ's sake! - I heard "three." 520 00:38:57,268 --> 00:38:58,826 If the count is "three," you do it on "four." 521 00:38:58,903 --> 00:39:00,495 - Now it's "four." - Why would you go on "four"? 522 00:39:00,571 --> 00:39:02,436 You gave me "four" first and you stole my "four." 523 00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:04,167 - But I have to count to "three" first. - You stole my "four." 524 00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:06,641 - Just let me say "three." - I've got wait on you now, huh? 525 00:39:06,711 --> 00:39:08,269 - You want the black man to wait again? - Do whatever you want. 526 00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,281 - That's what I've been doin'. - Why would you do that? 527 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,874 Why would you reach for it when I say "three"? That's what this is about. 528 00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:15,418 Do I still go on "four"? 529 00:39:15,486 --> 00:39:17,681 When I say "three," don't worry about "four." 530 00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:19,188 You got all the time in the world! 531 00:39:19,256 --> 00:39:23,352 You can go home, watch television and come back and then open the door! 532 00:39:23,427 --> 00:39:24,621 - Fine. - One- 533 00:39:24,695 --> 00:39:27,255 No. No "one." I'm out. No thank you. 534 00:39:27,331 --> 00:39:30,892 I'll take the next one. Does that work for you? 535 00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:33,198 - Jesus. - Attitude. 536 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:37,069 Seriously, I'd rather be dead. 537 00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:41,270 GIRL "A girl had a pet duck. 538 00:39:41,345 --> 00:39:43,540 "She fed and took care of her pet duck. 539 00:39:43,614 --> 00:39:48,278 "But one day, the duck got loose and ran away from the girl. 540 00:39:48,352 --> 00:39:50,912 "The duck ran down the road and kept running... 541 00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:52,649 until he found a pond." 542 00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:56,352 Mr. President, we've just received word... 543 00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,725 the planet is under attack by aliens. 544 00:39:58,796 --> 00:40:00,388 Oh. Okay. 545 00:40:00,464 --> 00:40:02,227 "The duck went back"- 546 00:40:02,299 --> 00:40:05,200 Sir? They've already wiped out some of our cities. 547 00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:07,669 If nothing is done, they'll kill us all. 548 00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:09,933 I see. Well, I'll handle that in a minute. 549 00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:13,602 But right now, I need to find out what's happening with the duck. 550 00:40:13,677 --> 00:40:17,408 Sir, with each passing moment, more people will die. 551 00:40:17,481 --> 00:40:19,915 The people are gonna die regardless... 552 00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:22,578 but this duck still has a fighting chance. 553 00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:27,317 I've read the story before, Mr. President. 554 00:40:27,391 --> 00:40:29,416 The duck dies. 555 00:40:30,928 --> 00:40:33,419 My God! That's horrible. 556 00:40:33,497 --> 00:40:36,523 Mr. President, the aliens? We're under attack. 557 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,433 You mean, right now all of these children's parents could be dead? 558 00:40:40,971 --> 00:40:43,496 Kids! Kids, please! 559 00:40:43,574 --> 00:40:45,940 It's not as bad as it seems. 560 00:40:46,010 --> 00:40:49,605 They didn't die alone. I'm sure they died with all the other people you loved. 561 00:40:51,248 --> 00:40:53,546 Even Santa Claus? 562 00:40:53,617 --> 00:40:56,586 No, of course not. There's no such thing as Santa Claus. 563 00:41:00,057 --> 00:41:02,525 Just like the Tooth Fairy, completely made up. 564 00:41:03,427 --> 00:41:05,952 Easter Bunny- Never existed. 565 00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:09,326 The female orgasm. 566 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,369 Wait and see what happens when you try to find it. 567 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:16,372 What's wrong? Your parents all getting divorces? 568 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,637 I can give them a little advice, if you'd like. 569 00:41:19,710 --> 00:41:22,543 Oh, I forgot. They're all dead. 570 00:41:22,613 --> 00:41:25,878 All right now, let's go on to another story, "Rumpelforeskin." 571 00:41:25,950 --> 00:41:28,646 "Stiltzkin," sir. We have to get you to the White House. 572 00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:30,380 I just don't get kids. 573 00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:33,514 - Remind me to sign that abortion bill. - Yes, sir. 574 00:41:46,036 --> 00:41:47,799 You may leave through the forward exit doors... 575 00:41:47,872 --> 00:41:50,136 or the gaping hole in the side of the plane. 576 00:41:50,207 --> 00:41:52,198 We realize you have a choice in airlines... 577 00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:55,439 and we appreciate you flying with Southern Coast Air. 578 00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:56,810 - Thank you. - Hello? 579 00:42:00,117 --> 00:42:03,052 Hey! That's mine! I found it! 580 00:42:04,421 --> 00:42:07,185 - Cindy? - Brenda? 581 00:42:07,258 --> 00:42:10,750 Oh, my God. It's been so long. 582 00:42:10,828 --> 00:42:13,228 Yeah, too long. 583 00:42:13,297 --> 00:42:15,197 I thought you were dead. 584 00:42:15,266 --> 00:42:17,257 Oh, I thought you were dead, too. 585 00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:19,734 What are you doing here? Were you on this plane? 586 00:42:19,803 --> 00:42:21,862 No, I'm trying to get a good story. 587 00:42:21,939 --> 00:42:24,669 I'm a reporter now. I work for the local news. 588 00:42:24,742 --> 00:42:26,334 Wow, you're really doing well for yourself. 589 00:42:26,410 --> 00:42:29,937 I was on assignment. Take a look at this. 590 00:42:30,014 --> 00:42:31,709 Here's Detroit. 591 00:42:33,484 --> 00:42:36,009 And here's Detroit after the attack. 592 00:42:38,756 --> 00:42:40,553 Oh, my God. 593 00:42:40,624 --> 00:42:43,286 The attack was devastating. 594 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,056 It's over, Cindy. Humanity has lost the war. 595 00:42:46,130 --> 00:42:48,121 No, no. There's still hope. 596 00:42:48,198 --> 00:42:50,996 I have reason to believe that there's someone here that has the answers... 597 00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:54,333 maybe even a way for us to fight back. 598 00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:57,738 Come on. It would make a great story. 599 00:42:57,808 --> 00:43:00,140 Maybe. But how are we supposed to get there? 600 00:43:00,210 --> 00:43:02,144 None of these cars work. 601 00:43:02,212 --> 00:43:04,077 Wait. See if this works. 602 00:43:07,084 --> 00:43:10,383 Hey! I got the last working car in New York! 603 00:43:10,454 --> 00:43:13,389 This is our road, bitches! Ha-ha! 604 00:43:18,128 --> 00:43:20,824 You're right, Cindy. That worked pretty well. 605 00:43:20,898 --> 00:43:22,229 I- 606 00:43:32,242 --> 00:43:34,107 Look at all the injured. 607 00:43:34,178 --> 00:43:35,770 It's so sad. 608 00:43:37,047 --> 00:43:39,538 Big-ass rat, man! 609 00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,517 Oh! That sewer took forever to fix! 610 00:43:41,585 --> 00:43:44,281 Man, I'm gonna need a hot bath after all of that- 611 00:43:44,355 --> 00:43:46,016 What the hell happened here? 612 00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:53,290 - Zombies! - Damn! 613 00:43:54,832 --> 00:43:56,231 Let's go! 614 00:43:57,701 --> 00:43:59,362 Don't let 'em bite you! 615 00:43:59,436 --> 00:44:02,234 Good news! They can still feel electricity. 616 00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:05,434 Grandma? The zombies have got my grandma! 617 00:44:05,509 --> 00:44:08,239 Die, Grandma! Die! Die! 618 00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:11,975 - I loved you! I loved you! - Mahalik? 619 00:44:12,049 --> 00:44:14,415 Look what they did to my grandmama! 620 00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:17,886 Whoa! 621 00:44:19,323 --> 00:44:21,257 That woman raised me from birth. 622 00:44:29,033 --> 00:44:31,831 Hey, he's got a car. He's got a car. 623 00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:33,893 Give us the car and the keys! 624 00:44:33,971 --> 00:44:37,566 This isn't my car. I would, but I can't. It's not my car. 625 00:44:37,641 --> 00:44:41,475 It's not my car. Don't worry, kids. The doors are locked. 626 00:44:41,545 --> 00:44:43,240 There's no possible way they can- 627 00:44:43,313 --> 00:44:46,908 Pull the robot out of chocolate. But that's just common sense. Oh, waiter! 628 00:44:48,218 --> 00:44:50,448 - Daddy! - Kids! 629 00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:57,619 Whoa! 630 00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,960 Why? 631 00:45:01,031 --> 00:45:03,090 Well. 632 00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:06,136 Get back! Get back! 633 00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:12,734 Gimme the gun. I'm taking the car. 634 00:45:12,810 --> 00:45:14,801 What do I do about him? 635 00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:17,210 I don't want the car. I just need a gun. 636 00:45:17,281 --> 00:45:19,545 No way I'm giving up the gun. I want the car. 637 00:45:19,616 --> 00:45:23,609 So, you need a gun, and you want a car. 638 00:45:23,687 --> 00:45:26,884 - What do you want? - Well, I've never owned a knife. 639 00:45:26,957 --> 00:45:29,619 Okay. Let's all switch on three. 640 00:45:29,693 --> 00:45:32,560 One, two, three. 641 00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:36,533 Is this right? 642 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,728 I don't think so. 643 00:45:41,371 --> 00:45:44,499 Dad, they're taking the car. 644 00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:48,238 Yes, well, uh, let's keep going. 645 00:45:48,312 --> 00:45:51,247 What? That's it? You're giving up? 646 00:45:51,315 --> 00:45:53,647 Yeah, that's right. I'm giving up. 647 00:45:53,717 --> 00:45:56,049 You want a hero? Go find someone else. 648 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,520 Why? 649 00:45:59,923 --> 00:46:02,551 Let's go. 650 00:46:02,626 --> 00:46:04,992 Now, let me get this straight: 651 00:46:05,062 --> 00:46:08,964 The girl hugged the duck, and then it dies? 652 00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:11,592 Mr. President, the nation is under attack. 653 00:46:11,668 --> 00:46:13,363 Get me Homer Landsquiddy. 654 00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:15,928 You mean, "Homeland Security." 655 00:46:17,508 --> 00:46:20,204 Sir, this woman was an eyewitness to one of the attacks. 656 00:46:20,277 --> 00:46:22,871 - What can you tell us? - They're indestructible. 657 00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:25,608 The clothing was burned off everyone's bodies. 658 00:46:25,682 --> 00:46:28,310 There were naked people everywhere. 659 00:46:28,385 --> 00:46:30,853 - Were you naked? - No. 660 00:46:30,921 --> 00:46:32,718 Thank God. Some good news at last. 661 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,621 Get her a souvenir. 662 00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:58,206 Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. 663 00:46:59,683 --> 00:47:02,447 Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! 664 00:47:02,519 --> 00:47:05,079 R. Kelly, don't pee on me! 665 00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:08,249 My lovely lady lumps! 666 00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:10,316 Where are we? 667 00:47:10,394 --> 00:47:13,591 I'm not sure, but I think we're close. 668 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:17,122 It's supposed to be near mile 62. 669 00:47:17,201 --> 00:47:18,930 Is something wrong? 670 00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:21,300 No, it's just... 671 00:47:21,371 --> 00:47:24,807 I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. 672 00:47:24,875 --> 00:47:26,809 Oh, you'd love him, Brenda. 673 00:47:26,877 --> 00:47:29,937 What's his name? I might've already loved him. 674 00:47:30,013 --> 00:47:31,776 Tom Ryan. 675 00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:34,977 Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy? 676 00:47:35,052 --> 00:47:38,146 No... No. 677 00:47:38,222 --> 00:47:41,589 But he is the kind of guy that I'd like to share the rest of my life with. 678 00:47:46,730 --> 00:47:48,755 Cindy! Look! 679 00:47:56,773 --> 00:47:58,468 What is this place? 680 00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:01,272 I don't know, but the boy's father's somewhere in there. 681 00:48:01,345 --> 00:48:03,279 We'll have to sneak our way in. 682 00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:05,338 But we're not gonna blend in dressed like this. 683 00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:08,350 - Brenda, look. - He's a wonderful boy. 684 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,910 Ezekiel? 685 00:48:38,982 --> 00:48:40,916 Ezekiel, where are you? 686 00:48:46,490 --> 00:48:50,756 Ezekiel, shall we have a foot race? 687 00:48:50,827 --> 00:48:52,761 No cheating. 688 00:49:15,652 --> 00:49:17,210 That's him! 689 00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:19,585 He's cute. 690 00:49:22,592 --> 00:49:27,427 Friends, friends. Do not fear the noise of those of whom we do not speak. 691 00:49:27,497 --> 00:49:29,692 There is a gentle truce between our village 692 00:49:29,766 --> 00:49:32,291 and the creatures beyond their borders. 693 00:49:32,369 --> 00:49:34,234 Now, who would like to say grace? 694 00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:36,204 Ooh! 695 00:49:36,273 --> 00:49:38,104 Ah, Ezekiel. 696 00:49:39,409 --> 00:49:41,400 Pee-pee. 697 00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:44,413 Pee-pee vagina. 698 00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:48,743 Amen. 699 00:49:56,893 --> 00:49:59,123 Father? 700 00:49:59,196 --> 00:50:01,858 Holly. 701 00:50:01,932 --> 00:50:04,264 For what purpose do you interrupt 702 00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:08,737 the celebration of the domestic partnership 703 00:50:08,805 --> 00:50:11,103 of Mordecai and Hoss? 704 00:50:11,174 --> 00:50:13,108 The guards caught two outsiders near the cabin. 705 00:50:19,816 --> 00:50:21,249 Who are you? 706 00:50:21,318 --> 00:50:24,378 I must speak with you. I was sent by your son. 707 00:50:24,454 --> 00:50:26,513 Don't be ridiculous. 708 00:50:26,590 --> 00:50:28,854 - I have no son. - That's not true! 709 00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:31,223 I know who you are. I've seen the pictures. 710 00:50:31,294 --> 00:50:34,422 - I was young. I needed the work. - No. 711 00:50:34,498 --> 00:50:36,090 At Mrs. Norris's house. 712 00:50:36,166 --> 00:50:38,566 I didn't know whose house it was. 713 00:50:38,635 --> 00:50:41,069 They drugged me. Never mind that. 714 00:50:41,138 --> 00:50:45,268 You're outsiders. The council will decide your fates. 715 00:50:51,381 --> 00:50:54,908 The question of the outsiders is now at hand. 716 00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:58,580 But first, Martha, have you some tidings? 717 00:50:58,655 --> 00:51:01,021 Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith 718 00:51:01,091 --> 00:51:03,059 have informed me of their intentions. 719 00:51:03,126 --> 00:51:06,323 He intends to have sex with her as soon as possible. 720 00:51:06,396 --> 00:51:10,457 She intends to put up a mild fight and then give in. 721 00:51:16,973 --> 00:51:19,999 Amos, something does trouble you? 722 00:51:21,044 --> 00:51:25,447 We now have a majority of those who wish to say "I'm"... 723 00:51:25,515 --> 00:51:27,847 instead of �I am." 724 00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:30,250 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 725 00:51:31,388 --> 00:51:33,686 Silence! 726 00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:35,622 We have more important matters to discuss. 727 00:51:35,692 --> 00:51:39,150 I fear that the presence of the outsiders 728 00:51:39,229 --> 00:51:42,687 will attract those of whom we do not speak. 729 00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:45,963 If you talk about those of whom we do not speak... 730 00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:48,334 have you not spoken of that 731 00:51:48,405 --> 00:51:50,202 about which we do not talk? 732 00:51:50,273 --> 00:51:53,208 Do not speak of that of about which 733 00:51:53,276 --> 00:51:58,077 we talk of not speaking... about. 734 00:52:07,390 --> 00:52:11,053 Elder Hale. We should welcome the outsiders among us. 735 00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:14,586 Jeremiah, ought not your tongue be held? 736 00:52:14,664 --> 00:52:17,394 I am sorry, Elder Hale... 737 00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:21,665 but sometimes my tongue wiggles beyond my ability to control it. 738 00:52:23,573 --> 00:52:27,373 This is a problem with which I have had much experience. 739 00:52:27,444 --> 00:52:30,538 Maybe I could help him in a room in which there are no others. 740 00:52:31,915 --> 00:52:34,145 Or you can all watch. I don't give a shit. 741 00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:37,050 Silence. 742 00:52:40,757 --> 00:52:45,217 After this, how about you take your thing of which we do not speak... 743 00:52:45,295 --> 00:52:47,490 and slide it up in my place of which I like- 744 00:52:47,564 --> 00:52:49,498 Silence! 745 00:52:49,566 --> 00:52:51,898 The elders will consult. 746 00:53:00,443 --> 00:53:02,104 Ah. Much better. 747 00:53:35,312 --> 00:53:39,248 I'm not in my house, am I? 748 00:53:39,316 --> 00:53:41,216 No. 749 00:53:44,387 --> 00:53:49,120 Outsiders, we have decided to let you stay with us... 750 00:53:49,192 --> 00:53:52,491 so that you'll be safe from those from of whom we do not- 751 00:53:52,562 --> 00:53:54,689 Or don't. 752 00:53:54,764 --> 00:53:56,254 Speak. 753 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:59,359 But now that you are a part of our village... 754 00:53:59,436 --> 00:54:01,495 understand this: 755 00:54:01,571 --> 00:54:03,698 You may never leave. 756 00:54:03,773 --> 00:54:07,004 No! No! 757 00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:09,602 How did your son die? 758 00:54:09,679 --> 00:54:12,204 - The fate of the world is at stake. - You know what to do. 759 00:54:12,282 --> 00:54:13,943 Was it you? Did you kill him? 760 00:54:14,017 --> 00:54:15,951 This is some shit up with which we will not put. 761 00:54:16,019 --> 00:54:18,510 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 762 00:54:21,858 --> 00:54:25,123 This village isn't what it used to be. 763 00:54:27,530 --> 00:54:30,897 Just hours after the devastating alien attack... 764 00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:34,266 world leaders have gathered at the United Nations. 765 00:54:34,337 --> 00:54:37,033 In this, mankind's darkest hour... 766 00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:39,439 the human race has turned, as one... 767 00:54:39,509 --> 00:54:41,443 to the wisdom and leadership 768 00:54:41,511 --> 00:54:44,036 of the President of the United States. 769 00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:48,050 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. 770 00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:50,086 Go get 'em, tiger. 771 00:54:50,153 --> 00:54:52,144 They mean you, sir. 772 00:54:52,222 --> 00:54:54,019 Oh, yes, of course. 773 00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:07,231 So... an Indian, a Frenchman and the Pope are all on a plane. 774 00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:11,206 The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" 775 00:55:11,274 --> 00:55:14,209 So the Pope lifts up his robe and says... 776 00:55:14,277 --> 00:55:16,973 "Shut up, stupid. You don't even speak English." 777 00:55:18,581 --> 00:55:20,913 The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes... 778 00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:23,418 but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting, you crazy Jew. 779 00:55:23,486 --> 00:55:26,853 You're the one who sold me these cheap glasses." 780 00:55:26,923 --> 00:55:29,585 What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? 781 00:55:29,659 --> 00:55:33,220 The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good. 782 00:55:37,634 --> 00:55:41,536 But, on a serious note, I'm here today at the, uh... 783 00:55:42,305 --> 00:55:45,103 "un"...because the Earth has been attacked. 784 00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:48,042 I'm happy to report that we may have found a way to fight back. 785 00:55:48,111 --> 00:55:50,602 My military advisers at the Pentagram 786 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,443 have managed to do the impossible. 787 00:55:52,515 --> 00:55:56,178 They have captured one of the alien heat ray guns. 788 00:55:56,252 --> 00:56:00,518 As you know, the heat ray destroys the body, leaving behind nothing but clothes. 789 00:56:00,590 --> 00:56:03,753 Our engineers have managed to reverse the polarity of the weapon 790 00:56:03,827 --> 00:56:07,126 in the hopes that it can now be turned against 791 00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:09,256 the alien invaders. 792 00:56:13,536 --> 00:56:16,562 Well, where was I? 793 00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:19,802 Ah, yes. We expect that the alien shields will be vulnerable 794 00:56:19,876 --> 00:56:22,367 to this reconfigured weapon. 795 00:56:24,347 --> 00:56:27,714 People, please! Please! 796 00:56:27,784 --> 00:56:33,120 Please, people. Now, I know that this new technology may seem frightening... 797 00:56:33,189 --> 00:56:36,625 but I believe that deep down inside this heat cannon 798 00:56:36,693 --> 00:56:38,126 is our best chance. 799 00:56:38,194 --> 00:56:40,628 Let me give you a demonstration. 800 00:56:40,697 --> 00:56:43,393 Now let's see if this thing is plugged in. 801 00:56:45,969 --> 00:56:48,130 Uh... it's not a very pretty sight. 802 00:56:48,204 --> 00:56:50,468 Everything's loose and flapping around. 803 00:56:50,540 --> 00:56:52,508 Look at this little pink thing. 804 00:56:59,549 --> 00:57:02,609 Someone get some lubricant, and we'll slather it around in here. 805 00:57:02,685 --> 00:57:05,017 There. 806 00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:20,863 Harper. Good God, these people are all naked. 807 00:57:20,937 --> 00:57:24,304 Have you no shame? Have you no decency? 808 00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:26,638 - Sir, you're naked, too. - I am? 809 00:57:26,709 --> 00:57:29,371 - I thought this was a wrinkly leather coat. - Sir! 810 00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,038 - These aren't buttons? - No! 811 00:57:31,114 --> 00:57:33,446 I've been pulling this thing up and down like a zipper. 812 00:57:33,516 --> 00:57:35,177 Mr. President, please. 813 00:57:35,251 --> 00:57:37,685 There goes that duck again. 814 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,694 Yo, man, you see this red weed? 815 00:57:45,762 --> 00:57:47,753 Nope. 816 00:57:47,831 --> 00:57:49,765 Dad, how much further till Mom's? 817 00:57:49,833 --> 00:57:51,664 I don't know. 818 00:57:51,734 --> 00:57:54,328 I'm not sure how much longer I can carry your sister. 819 00:57:54,404 --> 00:57:57,703 I've been walking this entire time. 820 00:57:57,774 --> 00:58:00,368 - Then who the hell is- - I'll pay you. 821 00:58:00,443 --> 00:58:03,037 Stay close, Rachel. 822 00:58:03,112 --> 00:58:06,548 Dad, look! 823 00:58:06,616 --> 00:58:09,414 Hey! Hey! You guys! I want to help! 824 00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:11,420 Robbie! Oh, no. 825 00:58:13,056 --> 00:58:16,423 Don't move. For God's sake, stay right there. I'll be right back! 826 00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:19,485 Hey! Hey, you guys! I want to help. 827 00:58:21,898 --> 00:58:23,661 Awesome! 828 00:58:23,733 --> 00:58:26,327 - Wait! - Are you crazy? 829 00:58:26,402 --> 00:58:28,529 No! They'll pay for half my college. 830 00:58:29,939 --> 00:58:31,804 Kick ass. 831 00:58:31,875 --> 00:58:33,706 Robbie! 832 00:58:33,776 --> 00:58:35,710 - Yes! - What's the matter with you? 833 00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:39,043 Hey, look at that guy. This is so cool! 834 00:58:41,117 --> 00:58:44,848 Robbie! Robbie! 835 00:58:50,326 --> 00:58:52,851 Rachel! Rachel! 836 00:58:52,929 --> 00:58:55,227 Little girl, are you alone? 837 00:58:55,298 --> 00:58:57,357 You need to come with me. 838 00:58:57,433 --> 00:58:59,424 I'll keep you safe, right, kids? 839 00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:00,935 Uh-uh. 840 00:59:01,004 --> 00:59:03,063 - Do you have a little brother? - Get away from her! 841 00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:08,204 Run away, kids! 842 00:59:09,045 --> 00:59:10,740 Toward the tripod, if you have to! 843 00:59:10,813 --> 00:59:13,145 Don't go! I've got a Ferris wheel and a chimp... 844 00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:15,650 and a big, soft bed we can all get in. 845 00:59:20,189 --> 00:59:22,589 No, please! 846 00:59:22,659 --> 00:59:23,956 Not my real face! 847 00:59:24,027 --> 00:59:25,892 Not my real face! 848 00:59:25,962 --> 00:59:27,987 No! 849 00:59:33,636 --> 00:59:35,228 Over here. 850 00:59:35,305 --> 00:59:38,399 Follow me to safety. 851 00:59:38,474 --> 00:59:41,602 - Ow! - Follow me to safety. 852 00:59:41,678 --> 00:59:44,613 - I don't know about this. - I'm an excellent judge of character. 853 00:59:44,681 --> 00:59:47,172 All right. Yeah. 854 01:00:12,342 --> 01:00:15,277 That's it. 855 01:00:15,345 --> 01:00:16,573 Oh, Brenda. 856 01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:21,015 Yes! You did it! 857 01:00:21,084 --> 01:00:24,781 You have learned quickly and produced splendid butter. 858 01:00:24,854 --> 01:00:27,322 Are you sure you have not churned before? 859 01:00:27,390 --> 01:00:29,881 Well, we don't call it churning where I come from. 860 01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:39,397 Pee-pee vagina. 861 01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:55,517 Quick! Into the cellar. 862 01:00:55,585 --> 01:00:58,110 No! 863 01:00:58,187 --> 01:01:01,213 This is the cellar. That's the cesspool. 864 01:01:01,290 --> 01:01:02,882 Damn it! 865 01:01:05,428 --> 01:01:06,759 Quick! 866 01:01:27,650 --> 01:01:30,118 Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy. 867 01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,347 Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy-boogedy. 868 01:01:32,422 --> 01:01:35,255 Hey! You're not monsters. 869 01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:39,085 Old Lady Henderson? 870 01:01:39,162 --> 01:01:41,562 And Pig-Face Joe! 871 01:01:46,769 --> 01:01:48,634 What happened? 872 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:50,195 It is Henry. 873 01:01:50,273 --> 01:01:52,833 He has suffered a heart attack 874 01:01:52,909 --> 01:01:54,900 brought on by this knife. 875 01:01:56,345 --> 01:01:58,245 Who did this? 876 01:01:58,314 --> 01:02:00,248 It was... Ezekiel. 877 01:02:02,085 --> 01:02:04,076 Henry, you need a hospital. 878 01:02:04,153 --> 01:02:06,644 It's not too late. We can help you. 879 01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:09,851 Perhaps you could start by not leaning on the knife. 880 01:02:12,962 --> 01:02:14,623 Do not be concerned for him, Cindy. 881 01:02:14,697 --> 01:02:18,155 We have sent our most qualified villager for medicines. 882 01:02:31,247 --> 01:02:33,238 I am so dead. 883 01:02:33,316 --> 01:02:35,910 Please, leave me alone with Cindy and Brenda. 884 01:02:35,985 --> 01:02:37,577 I have much to tell them. 885 01:02:40,923 --> 01:02:43,016 Listen carefully to me. 886 01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:45,083 I am not long for this world. 887 01:02:45,161 --> 01:02:47,129 - Pussy. - Brenda! 888 01:02:47,196 --> 01:02:50,996 What? 50 Cent got shot nine times. He's still walking around. 889 01:02:51,067 --> 01:02:54,127 Tell me, Henry, who killed the boy? Was it you? 890 01:02:54,203 --> 01:02:58,037 No, I loved him and his mother very much. 891 01:02:58,107 --> 01:03:00,098 I should have been with him when he died. 892 01:03:00,176 --> 01:03:02,440 It was horrible. 893 01:03:02,512 --> 01:03:04,537 What happened? You must tell me. 894 01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:06,775 They went to a boxing match. 895 01:03:06,849 --> 01:03:09,283 It was a women's championship title fight. 896 01:03:10,753 --> 01:03:13,586 And there was a terrible accident. 897 01:03:13,656 --> 01:03:15,817 Oh, my God. 898 01:03:26,702 --> 01:03:28,636 Only in America! 899 01:03:33,342 --> 01:03:36,038 All this time, I've been searching for his killer 900 01:03:36,112 --> 01:03:38,080 when it was me, Brenda. 901 01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,081 It was all my fault. 902 01:03:40,149 --> 01:03:42,879 Henry, your son told me that if I found his killer... 903 01:03:42,952 --> 01:03:44,920 I would know how to defeat the aliens. 904 01:03:44,987 --> 01:03:47,922 And he was right. Don't you see? 905 01:03:47,990 --> 01:03:51,118 All you have to do is- 906 01:03:54,430 --> 01:03:56,523 Who the hell let his ass out of jail? 907 01:03:56,599 --> 01:03:58,362 His brother, the sheriff. 908 01:04:01,737 --> 01:04:04,706 Fuckin' "A." 909 01:04:09,612 --> 01:04:11,842 There you go, sweetie. 910 01:04:11,914 --> 01:04:13,848 We're gonna die, aren't we? 911 01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:18,046 Hey, nothing's gonna happen to you. I haven't lost anyone yet. 912 01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:21,578 - You've lost Robbie. - Except Robbie. 913 01:04:21,657 --> 01:04:26,060 None of that matters right now. What's important is that I'm here with you. 914 01:04:26,128 --> 01:04:28,062 Try and get some sleep, okay? 915 01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:31,391 Sing me "Lullaby and Good Night"? 916 01:04:33,169 --> 01:04:35,535 I don't know that one. 917 01:04:35,605 --> 01:04:38,130 Sing me "Hushabye Mountain"? 918 01:04:38,207 --> 01:04:40,266 I'm sorry, Rachel, I don't that one, either. 919 01:05:17,013 --> 01:05:19,447 Hey. Come on in. 920 01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:22,109 Have a seat. 921 01:05:22,184 --> 01:05:25,176 - The name's Oliver. - Tom Ryan. 922 01:05:27,123 --> 01:05:29,887 I found this place. Plenty of food- 923 01:05:30,860 --> 01:05:33,727 Along with two freshly killed busybodies upstairs... 924 01:05:33,796 --> 01:05:36,993 who "owned" the place. We could stay here forever. 925 01:05:37,066 --> 01:05:39,830 - Are you afraid? - Of course I'm afraid. 926 01:05:39,902 --> 01:05:42,063 I'm not. I've been around death plenty. 927 01:05:42,138 --> 01:05:44,629 I used to drive an ambulance in the city... 928 01:05:44,707 --> 01:05:48,302 but, apparently, I wasn't a very strong driver. 929 01:05:48,377 --> 01:05:50,709 It seems I was killing more people than I was saving. 930 01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:53,476 Something about that siren got me excited. 931 01:05:53,549 --> 01:05:57,110 Wham! Carnage. 932 01:05:57,186 --> 01:05:59,620 But this is different. This is a war. 933 01:05:59,689 --> 01:06:01,987 No, it's an extermination. 934 01:06:02,058 --> 01:06:04,822 It's no more of a war than there's a war between men and maggots... 935 01:06:04,894 --> 01:06:07,226 or dragons and wolves... 936 01:06:07,296 --> 01:06:11,426 or men riding dragons, throwing wolves at maggots. 937 01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:15,197 Damn it, Tom. Can't you understand what I'm trying to tell you? 938 01:06:15,271 --> 01:06:17,762 These aliens must have a weakness. 939 01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:20,240 I heard that the Japs killed a few of 'em over in Kikkoman. 940 01:06:20,309 --> 01:06:23,142 Kikkoman. That's-That's soy sauce. 941 01:06:23,212 --> 01:06:24,975 Right, yeah. Low sodium. 942 01:06:25,047 --> 01:06:28,210 What I'm trying to say, Tom, is that you and I should be fighting these things. 943 01:06:28,284 --> 01:06:30,684 It's us that should be coming up from under the ground. 944 01:06:30,753 --> 01:06:32,812 Of course, we'll have to bury ourselves first... 945 01:06:32,888 --> 01:06:34,219 but it'll be worth it. 946 01:06:34,290 --> 01:06:36,417 Cool breeze. No sunblock. Worms. 947 01:06:36,492 --> 01:06:39,484 When we build our own tripods, they'll have four legs. 948 01:06:39,562 --> 01:06:41,530 I gotta show ya something. 949 01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:47,892 We'll tunnel up from behind and scare the piss out of �em. 950 01:06:52,908 --> 01:06:55,399 Wish we had some shovels, don't you? 951 01:07:04,587 --> 01:07:06,817 Dad. 952 01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:15,390 Daddy! 953 01:08:15,458 --> 01:08:17,085 Rachel! 954 01:08:19,628 --> 01:08:23,462 Rachel! Rachel! 955 01:08:32,808 --> 01:08:35,743 What's the secret, Brenda? What am I missing? 956 01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:40,916 Oh, please! More fake monsters? 957 01:08:48,824 --> 01:08:52,453 Cindy! 958 01:09:08,244 --> 01:09:11,441 Help! Help! 959 01:09:12,815 --> 01:09:15,807 I promised I'd find you, didn't I? 960 01:09:29,598 --> 01:09:32,396 Where are we? What is this? 961 01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:35,528 Some kind of basket attached to the tripod. 962 01:09:35,604 --> 01:09:37,265 Jesus! 963 01:09:37,339 --> 01:09:40,240 I know, it's horrible. But why? 964 01:09:40,309 --> 01:09:42,140 What are the aliens gonna do to us? 965 01:09:42,211 --> 01:09:44,145 I don't know, but they're taking everyone- 966 01:09:44,213 --> 01:09:46,909 young, old, rich, poor, Chingy. 967 01:09:58,093 --> 01:10:00,186 - Daddy! - Rachel! 968 01:10:00,262 --> 01:10:03,663 - No! - Daddy! Help! 969 01:10:03,732 --> 01:10:05,632 Tom! 970 01:10:15,477 --> 01:10:18,139 Am I dead? 971 01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:20,307 You're not dead. 972 01:10:30,025 --> 01:10:32,459 - Brenda! - Cindy! 973 01:10:32,528 --> 01:10:35,326 Hey... could be worse. 974 01:10:38,133 --> 01:10:41,398 - You want to switch? - Okay. 975 01:10:41,470 --> 01:10:44,371 Brenda, look! 976 01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:48,035 I don't believe it! The aliens killed a dinosaur! 977 01:10:52,214 --> 01:10:56,310 Hello, humans. Welcome to the inside of the command tripod. 978 01:10:57,119 --> 01:10:59,587 Where's Rachel? What have you done with my daughter? 979 01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:03,523 All in good time, Tom. But first, I want to play a game. 980 01:11:03,592 --> 01:11:07,392 The devices you wear will trigger in 60 seconds. 981 01:11:07,463 --> 01:11:11,923 The switch on the wall behind Cindy will disable them. 982 01:11:12,001 --> 01:11:13,866 But where is the key? 983 01:11:13,936 --> 01:11:15,528 I'll give you a hint, Cindy. 984 01:11:16,972 --> 01:11:18,701 Let the game begin. 985 01:11:18,774 --> 01:11:22,505 I... I don't get it. 986 01:11:22,578 --> 01:11:27,208 Okay... maybe this will help you "see." 987 01:11:34,156 --> 01:11:37,751 You want me to... cut something? 988 01:11:37,826 --> 01:11:41,091 That should be obvious, yes. 989 01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:44,599 No. 990 01:11:46,735 --> 01:11:49,761 No! The key is behind your eye, okay? 991 01:11:55,778 --> 01:11:59,111 Zoltar, get in here! This one's gonna do it! 992 01:12:03,152 --> 01:12:05,416 Fake eye. 993 01:12:05,487 --> 01:12:07,819 Bad bar fight in '96. 994 01:12:11,627 --> 01:12:14,061 Oh. 995 01:12:16,231 --> 01:12:20,167 Oh... oh, I hope this doesn't come between us. 996 01:12:20,235 --> 01:12:22,226 Of course not. 997 01:12:29,011 --> 01:12:31,639 Is it too late for me to try this on? 998 01:12:31,714 --> 01:12:33,579 Silence! The game is not yet over. 999 01:12:36,085 --> 01:12:37,746 - Rachel! - Daddy! 1000 01:12:37,820 --> 01:12:40,254 - Robbie! Daddy! 1001 01:12:44,193 --> 01:12:48,425 The only thing keeping your children alive, Tom, is you. 1002 01:12:48,497 --> 01:12:50,988 Well, we had a good run. 1003 01:12:54,670 --> 01:12:57,332 Ha! You weren't expecting that, were you? 1004 01:12:57,406 --> 01:13:00,341 On the contrary, I was counting on it. 1005 01:13:06,115 --> 01:13:08,811 I call it..."the nutcracker." 1006 01:13:08,884 --> 01:13:10,818 Why? 1007 01:13:10,886 --> 01:13:13,616 Of course. 1008 01:13:19,294 --> 01:13:24,459 Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi! 1009 01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:30,668 Oh, my- Oh, my gosh. 1010 01:13:30,739 --> 01:13:34,334 Of course. Follow the blood. Henry was his stepdad. 1011 01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:36,901 You're the little boy's real father! 1012 01:13:36,979 --> 01:13:38,879 Where did you even meet her? 1013 01:13:38,947 --> 01:13:41,415 It was spring break in Cabo. So what? 1014 01:13:41,483 --> 01:13:43,815 I blended in. Seriously, who gives a crap? 1015 01:13:43,886 --> 01:13:45,217 What's this? 1016 01:13:47,723 --> 01:13:49,657 Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom. 1017 01:13:52,928 --> 01:13:55,021 Please, your son wouldn't want this. 1018 01:13:55,097 --> 01:13:57,895 His soul walks the Earth because of the pain you've caused him. 1019 01:13:57,966 --> 01:14:00,594 No. I have crossed a galaxy for revenge. 1020 01:14:00,669 --> 01:14:02,864 But it's my fault. Let the others go. 1021 01:14:02,938 --> 01:14:06,101 Oh, I don't think so. Look upon him as he writhes! 1022 01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:09,576 Hey, Cindy! Look, I'm on TV, y'all! Check it out! 1023 01:14:09,645 --> 01:14:11,738 I'm gonna give a shout out to all my peeps! 1024 01:14:14,183 --> 01:14:15,878 Have you lost your mind? 1025 01:14:15,951 --> 01:14:18,385 No one... bitch slaps... Brenda! 1026 01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:20,615 Zoltar, help! 1027 01:14:20,689 --> 01:14:24,125 Oh, oh! This is some bullshit! 1028 01:14:24,193 --> 01:14:27,560 I know you hold a grudge against humanity for your son's death, but- 1029 01:14:27,629 --> 01:14:29,961 Oh, wet willy! 1030 01:14:30,032 --> 01:14:33,263 Killing us won't bring your little boy back. 1031 01:14:33,335 --> 01:14:36,236 No. You will all pay for what you have done. 1032 01:14:36,305 --> 01:14:38,398 Besides, I've already built this thing. 1033 01:14:39,842 --> 01:14:42,902 When the trap closes on you, it will lock the chain in place. 1034 01:14:42,978 --> 01:14:44,969 Your children will be saved... 1035 01:14:45,047 --> 01:14:47,641 but you will suffer a terrible death. 1036 01:14:47,716 --> 01:14:50,378 Can you hang on to the ones you love? 1037 01:14:50,452 --> 01:14:52,579 You have 60 seconds. 1038 01:14:54,156 --> 01:14:57,819 - No. - Don't worry, kids. I won't quit on you. 1039 01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:01,295 It's okay to let go, Dad. 1040 01:15:01,363 --> 01:15:03,923 All you ever had to do was show that you loved me. 1041 01:15:05,200 --> 01:15:07,464 And show me what it means to be a man. 1042 01:15:07,536 --> 01:15:10,061 And show me that I could love again. 1043 01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:12,969 We forgive you, Dad. 1044 01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:26,154 The spikes- they stopped! 1045 01:15:29,825 --> 01:15:32,191 - Kids! - Daddy! 1046 01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:39,501 Are you... sparing our lives? 1047 01:15:39,568 --> 01:15:41,502 Anyone can hold a grudge... 1048 01:15:41,570 --> 01:15:43,868 but it takes real courage to forgive. 1049 01:15:43,939 --> 01:15:47,875 - The invasion is over. - And? 1050 01:15:47,943 --> 01:15:51,003 And I guess I'm sorry or something. I don't know. 1051 01:15:51,079 --> 01:15:52,706 Like you mean it. 1052 01:15:52,781 --> 01:15:54,715 Okay. 1053 01:15:54,783 --> 01:15:57,377 I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever! 1054 01:15:57,452 --> 01:16:00,114 Wait... where's Brenda? 1055 01:16:02,724 --> 01:16:04,351 What? 1056 01:16:04,426 --> 01:16:06,826 We're at peace now. I was just sealing the deal. 1057 01:16:08,096 --> 01:16:11,429 Come on, Brenda. Let's go. 1058 01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:15,402 Bye, Zoltar! Don't lose my number! 1059 01:16:17,506 --> 01:16:19,497 Tell me you didn't catch something. 1060 01:16:19,575 --> 01:16:22,476 Nah, it's cool. She said she was a virgin. 1061 01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,046 We are so fucked. 1062 01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:44,198 Mommy! 1063 01:16:49,071 --> 01:16:50,368 Thank you. 1064 01:16:52,774 --> 01:16:54,503 Hey, look, kids- Grandpa. 1065 01:16:56,478 --> 01:16:58,207 No, that's my new husband. 1066 01:17:04,987 --> 01:17:09,617 Oh, I think it's romantic- the way love can find anyone. 1067 01:17:13,528 --> 01:17:16,986 And so, love triumphed in the end... 1068 01:17:17,065 --> 01:17:19,363 and the invaders were destroyed. 1069 01:17:19,434 --> 01:17:22,164 For this world, our world... 1070 01:17:22,237 --> 01:17:24,205 is the world of man. 1071 01:17:24,272 --> 01:17:27,298 We have earned the right to live here... 1072 01:17:27,376 --> 01:17:31,745 and as long as we love, humanity will prevail. 1073 01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:35,647 Each of our enemies has failed in their quest to defeat us... 1074 01:17:35,717 --> 01:17:40,450 each has been undone by their own nefarious plans. 1075 01:17:40,522 --> 01:17:43,980 Among all worlds, across all galaxies... 1076 01:17:44,059 --> 01:17:47,722 we stand above, we stand alone. 1077 01:17:47,796 --> 01:17:52,426 None can threaten our existence, none can challenge our spirit. 1078 01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:54,435 And why? 1079 01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:57,802 Of all the qualities that make us unique... 1080 01:17:57,873 --> 01:18:00,535 it is love that is our greatest strength... 1081 01:18:00,609 --> 01:18:03,237 and because of love, mankind- 1082 01:18:07,282 --> 01:18:10,513 Thank you. Hello, and welcome to the show. 1083 01:18:10,585 --> 01:18:14,351 We have got a very special man with some very special news. 1084 01:18:14,423 --> 01:18:17,654 That's right- he's in the building! The man who saved the world! 1085 01:18:17,726 --> 01:18:19,990 Put your hands together for Tom Ryan! 1086 01:18:23,065 --> 01:18:25,659 - Yes! - My best friend. 1087 01:18:34,609 --> 01:18:36,873 Whoo! 1088 01:18:41,516 --> 01:18:44,314 - Wow. - That's it? 1089 01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:46,081 Okay. 1090 01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:53,659 - So, you're in love. - I am. I'm in love. 1091 01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,200 He's lost it. The boy's lost it. 1092 01:19:01,269 --> 01:19:03,897 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 1093 01:19:09,544 --> 01:19:12,138 - You are adorable when you are in love. - Thank you. 1094 01:19:12,214 --> 01:19:15,513 - Tell us all about her. - She's great. She's really terrific. 1095 01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,245 So it's complicated. 1096 01:19:17,319 --> 01:19:19,583 Yeah, you were saying that-that she's complex, I guess. 1097 01:19:19,654 --> 01:19:21,485 Shut up! 1098 01:19:30,098 --> 01:19:33,363 - Ow! - You're insane. Tom Ryan is insane! 1099 01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:35,460 - I'm insane! - Are you happy? 1100 01:19:35,537 --> 01:19:37,505 - You're happy? - I'm so happy. Hey! Look! 1101 01:19:37,572 --> 01:19:42,305 Whoa! 1102 01:19:42,377 --> 01:19:44,368 Tom. Okay, you've got balls. 1103 01:19:46,948 --> 01:19:50,509 Yeah! 1104 01:19:50,585 --> 01:19:52,382 Shoe! 1105 01:19:57,225 --> 01:19:59,716 I love Cindy Campbell! 1106 01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:02,229 I can jump on things! 1107 01:20:03,265 --> 01:20:05,233 Whoa! 1108 01:20:08,703 --> 01:20:11,934 Wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee! 1109 01:20:12,007 --> 01:20:13,941 Wowee- wowee-wowee-wowee! 1110 01:20:14,009 --> 01:20:17,342 Ya-ha! Whoa! 1111 01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:23,447 Okay, um, Tom... isn't Cindy here? 1112 01:20:23,518 --> 01:20:26,282 I know she's here. Cindy, I know you're in the building. 1113 01:20:26,354 --> 01:20:28,686 - Cindy! Cindy! - Cindy! Cindy! 1114 01:20:28,757 --> 01:20:33,751 - Let's bring her out right now! - I love this woman! I love this woman! 1115 01:20:42,237 --> 01:20:45,206 Oh, God! God! 1116 01:20:45,273 --> 01:20:48,208 Oh, God!